ItвЂ™s what your boss does, too, and itвЂ™s totally annoying, isnвЂ™t it?ДЄnyway, just to reiterate the bottom line: вЂњRock of AgesвЂќ is not Tom CruiseвЂ™s fault. ItвЂ™s actually what successful people do in general: take credit for the guaranteed successes and share the blame for the failures. That way if the whole thing tanks, he doesnвЂ™t have to shoulder the blame by himself. Also, see вЂњKnight & DayвЂќ for an exception to that rule.)Д«ut when Cruise decides to do something off-type or semi-daring - see вЂњRock of Ages,вЂќ вЂњMagnoliaвЂќ or вЂњTropic ThunderвЂќ - he often does so as part of an ensemble. (See вЂњ Mission: Impossible - Ghost ProtocolвЂќ or вЂњWar of the WorldsвЂќ for examples. When he plays an above-the-marquee role - one that announces вЂњThis is a Tom Cruise MovieвЂќ - he usually does so in films that will likely be met with some degree of box office success. Will this box office slip affect CruiseвЂ™s career? Oh, heck no.

But everyone else was either turned off by the premise, or knocked off the fence after reading the mixed reviews. Apologies for the error.) ThatвЂ™s the one way in which Cruise may be responsible for the movieвЂ™s failure.

The ones who already bought into the idea of вЂњRock of AgesвЂќ because they saw the stage show may not have supported the notion of Cruise in the role Constantine Maroulis once played.( Correction: Maroulis didnвЂ™t play Jaxx in the original Broadway production, James Carpinello did. The point is this: вЂњRock of AgesвЂќ was a dicey proposition for most moviegoers. I mean, what? HeвЂ™s still wearing MaverickвЂ™s sunglasses from 1986 in that picture and it still works somehow. Also necessary to fit into the вЂњRock of AgesвЂќ target demographic: an ability to spend a consistent amount of time looking at Alec Baldwin in this wig.ДЇif-ty. (We did this to the bottoms of our jeans back then, okay? Clearly all of the blood did not make it from our ankles back up to our brains.)ДЄlso part of the slice: people who like musicals (or at least вЂњ GleeвЂќ) and are totally cool with watching movies in which people spontaneously burst into song.

Who is that slice? People who actually remember the Pat Benatar, Poison and Foreigner songs covered in the film, as in were alive when they were initially released and actually thought they were legitimately awesome because it was the вЂ™80s and sometimes our tastes back then were a tad questionable. вЂњRock of AgesвЂќ is the sort of movie that appeals to an extremely limited slice of the movie-going public. Well, as someone who once served as the defense attorney in Tom Cruise Court and therefore feels obliged to support his career choices for reasons that even she doesnвЂ™t always understand, let me just say that this is so not Tom CruiseвЂ™s fault. вЂњThis is proof that he is neither hot nor sticky-sweat, from his head to his feet.вЂќ вЂњThat movie tanked because of Cruise,вЂќ you said to yourself as you scanned the box office results, a potent hit of Cruise schadenfreude already coursing through your veins. There may be a temptation to blame this development on shirtless Tom Cruise (see above), the man who, as Stacee Jaxx, demands in вЂњRock of AgesвЂќ that we pour some sugar on him, in the name of love. Specifically, it debuted in third place, behind вЂњMadagascar 3вЂќ and вЂњPrometheus,вЂќ earning a decidedly not-rockinвЂ™ $15.1 million. (David James/Warner Bros.)ДЄs the weekend box office results have already revealed, вЂњ Rock of AgesвЂќ didnвЂ™t do so well in the movie-ticket-selling department.

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